Because sparklepbass put the bug in my ear.
Nick took a drag from his cigarette and leered at the bulky man before him. He'd heard of this guy - even saw him play once while he was still with Danzig. He was just a skinny kid then, though. He had no idea where all the muscles and tattoos came from, and wondered just who this guy was.
"I've seen you play before," he barked. He hadn't meant to, it just kinda slipped out that way. Just like he wanted to slip his cock into his tight ass... Wow, Rex. Where the hell did that come from. You don't know this guy from a can of paint. Take it easy.
"Yeah?" Joey replied, his face lighting up. "What'd you think?"
Nick shifted in his chair in an attempt to hide his buddening hard-on. He shrugged to play it off. "It was cool. Can't say I'm a fan of Danzig, though." Joey's face fell a bit. And Nick grinned. This was gonna be easy.
"Lay off, will you," chuckled Josh as he joined them at the rear of the tour bus, sitting snugly next to their new drummer. "We just got this one. I don't need you scaring him off before the fun starts." Nick was startled. Joey beamed, or at least tried not to and failed miserably. Josh gazed fondly at him, like an adoring father would his son. Or, as Nick figured when Josh shot him the same suggestive glance he did when Dave joined up, like a sexual predator would fresh meat.
Nick quickly decided, that this meant war.
Nick stalked backstage, tossing his empty beer bottle in the trash. "Hey asshole, you wanna play the song like we rehearsed it?"
"Me?!" Joey reeled back as he followed him, nearly trodding on Troy. "You're the one in the wrong fucking key!"
"Oh, what the fuck would you know about keys?"
"Apparently, a lot more than you do!"
"At least I can play more than one instrument!"
"You're right - with your attention span, I'm surprised you can focus long enough to spell your fucking name." That, as they say, did it. Nick swung at Joey and missed, allowing Joey more than enough time to hoist Nick by his neck and pin him against the wall.
"Listen, fucktard," he spat. "You gotta problem with me, just fuckin' out and say it."
"Aww," they turned and saw an embarassed Troy and an amused Josh standing in the doorway. "Look, Troy. Nick's made a new friend." There was a beat of silence before Nick let out a choked laugh, earning a confused glare from the new drummer.
Joey snarled. "What the fuck are you laughing at." Josh strode to them, released Nick from the clutches of doom and smiled.
"Nick tends to egg people on till they wanna beat the shit out of him if he likes them," said Josh. "And, since you've already tried to strangle him, I think he loves you."
"Hardly," Nick wheezed, rubbing at his throat as Josh laughed. "I just wanna fuck." Joey's eyes nearly popped clear out of his skull as the rest of them fell silent.
"Wow," coughed Josh. "Welcome to the club, buddy."
No mas, I swear. :D