Cinnéidigh (thatmikeychick) wrote in plaid_on_plaid,

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Crossover. Big fucking crossover. With fucking. Yes.

Light. Blinding, searing, painful light. Nick whined and ducked beneath his covers, cursing whoever thought a burning ball of gas as an energy source was a good idea. He felt a tug on the covers at his feet, and clung to them. Fuck. That.

"What the fuck," Josh barked. "Get up."


"Come on," Josh whined. "The quicker we get this over with, the better."

"So why the hell are we going if you don't wanna go," Nick sat up finally, whining in reply.

"Because Aunt Molly will kill me if I don't," Josh huffed. Nick's glare softened at his friend's defeated expression.

"...have I met this one?"

"Nah," Josh said, tossing a pair of jeans at him. "She lives in Otter St. Catch, or something. We've never been here long enough to visit-"

"Ottery St. Catchpole, actually," Troy appeard in the doorway, reciting the name from a map. Upon noticing their confused stares, he shrugged. "That's what it says."

"Let's go," Joey said, dangling a set of keys from his fingers. "I wanna drive on the wrong side of the road."

"Do you even know where you're going?" Josh asked, patting his pockets for his smokes.

Joey shrugged. "Troy's got a map. The longer we sit here talking about it though, the less margin for error we'll have if we get lost. So buck up, shut up, and pack up. Let's go." On the last few syllables, he tugged the sheets from Nick's boddy and flung them on the hotel room floor. Nick shot Joey a glare to rival the devil's.

"Fucking asshole."

After what seemed like days on the winding roads of England, the group found themselves at the end of a dirt driveway, and completely aghast at the sight before them.

"Wow," said Joey as he leaned over the steering wheel. "I guess they don't have Home Depots over here, huh?"

"Yeah," said Josh as he eyed the haphazardly built house at the end of the lane. "Something like that." It looked as if the topmost floors had been added onto the house well after it had been built, and a strong wind probably could have blown the additions away. Joey stopped and parked the car, and in unison, they each stared at Josh. "Okay, this part of my family is, erm..." Nick raised his eyebrow. "...they're a bit odd, okay."

"Okay," said Troy slowly. "Like, Brittish odd, or..."

Josh's shoulders slumped a bit. "No, just odd."

"If they're anything like your crazy folks, I'm down," Joey declared and jumped out of the car. The rest followed. Josh reached the door and raised his hand to knock, but couldn't bring himself to do it. Chewing on his bottom lip, he turned to his bandmates and said,

"Maybe they're not home. I didn't call. We should leave. Okaylet'sgo-"

"Hullo..." Josh winced, and turned to face the door. On the threshold stood a stocky flame-haired boy with freckles across his nose and cheeks. "Can I help you?"

"Erm, hi," Josh offered shyly, extending his hand. "I'm Josh. Is, erm, Molly home?"

The boy narrowed his eyes suspiciously and leered at the group. A second, identical boy joined the first and grinned. "Hi! Who are you?"

Nick let out a strangled sort of coughing noise, prodding Josh to speak. "You must be Fred and George. I, uh, haven't met you yet."

"Right, fantastic," said the first. "But you still haven't clarified just who the bloody hell you are."

"George!" A stout, pleasant-faced woman with hair just as red came to the door and ushered the boys away. "Really, is that any way to talk to your cousin?" She smiled warmly at Josh and hugged him tight, making him go a bit red in the face. "Hullo, Duckie. Oh, you've brought friends! Come in, come in, the lot of you - I just put the kettle on." Josh shot a glance back at his friends and offered a shy grin.

Nick was the first to recover, and grinned ferociously. "Duckie?"

"Shut. Up."

It must have been an odd scene to walk in on, a house full of redheads, each looking equally as perturbed as the next. Josh was smiling politely, but his cheeks and ears were as red as beets, and his mouth had seemingly lost it's ability to function properly. Nick, Joey, and Troy sat rigidly in their chairs, one because they felt so out of place, two because they had just been conjured out of thin air by the woman Josh had been calling 'Aunt Molly'. The twins that greeted them sat squarely across from them, whispering to each other menacingly and shooting odd glances at Troy. Nick noticed and stared at them, earning a sharp jab in the ribs from Troy.

"Don't stare."

"So!" Molly bustled about the kitchen, gathering tea cups and saucers as the kettle boiled away in mid-air. "How long are you in the country?"

"Um," stammered Josh as he watched a collection of spoons fly from the other end of the tiny kitchen. "Till tomorrow." Troy jabbed Josh in the ribs. "Ow, um, Aunt Molly, this is Troy, Nick and Joey. They're in my band-"

"Oh yes, I remember," said Molly as she set a plate of biscuits on the table. "Harry mentioned something about you lot last night, I believe."

"Harry?" Josh paled. "Aunt Molly, how many kids do you have?"

"I'm sorry, Duckie," she grinned. "I keep forgetting how long it's been since I've seen you last. We stopped with Ginny. Finally. So that makes seven-"

"Seven?!" Josh choked. "Jesus-"

"Mmhmm," Molly said thoughtfully. "Although, Harry's not one of us."

"He might as well be," said one of the twins. "He and Ron are attatched at the hip, aren't they?"

"That's true," beamed Molly. "You don't know about the story behind Harry, Duckie. I'll tell you about it later when your friends have, erm..." she paused as her gaze fell upon Joey's frozen polite grin, "...settled in a bit."

"Mum, I'm starved," another ginger boy rushed into the kitchen with a dark-haired boy in his wake. Josh paused. "When's breakfast-oh." The ginger one froze and paled a bit. "We've company..."

"Ron, this is your cousin Du-er," Molly grinned. "Joshua. And his friends. From the states." She added the last bit pointedly, as if that would explain the rigid postures and stilled expressions from the musicians.

"Oh," replied Ron. "Erm, hi."

"Bloody hell." The dark-haired boy finally spoke. "You're Queens of the Stone Age."

Josh was taken aback, but grinned in spite of it. "Yeah. Hi, erm..."

"Harry," the boy said, rushing forward to shake his hand. "Harry Potter."


By the end of the day, the band had loosened up and enjoyed the company they were in, odd as they were. The twins had relaxed somewhat, but still shot the odd glance at Troy, who was beginning to grow aggitated about it. Joey still had trouble adjusting, but that was primarily because the youngest of the clan, and the only girl kept shooting suggestive glances at him. Nick was heavily engaged in conversation with Mr. Weasley about the functionality of stick shift in a car.

"So what happens if you don't shift gears at the appropriate time?" he asked, his eyes alight with wonder.

"Um," Nick chuckled, shooting a glare at Josh. "Your car kinda gets all messed up. Like, the transmission, I think."

"Transtion, you say?"

"No, transmission-"

"Arthur, please," chided Molly. "Don't pay him a bit of mind, dear. Arthur's facinated by Muggles."

"You keep calling us that," said Joey finally, his voice a bit louder than normal. "What's a Muggle?" The family stilled and shared a collective glance. Nick decided he didn't like it one bit.

Molly turned to Josh. "Josh, surely you've told your friends about your family..."

Josh blushed. "Umm, yes and no. A Muggle is a non-wizarding person."

"What the shit is that?"


"IN ENGLISH." Nick barked.

"Someone who doesn't have magical powers," sighed Josh. "Um, I'll explain."

And he did - retelling the history of his mother's family and their relation to the Weasleys, and explaining with a bit of detail what exactly the difference was between a Muggle and a Wizard. With a little help from that Potter kid, he noticed. He also noticed how the kid kept staring at him. At first, he thought it was simply fan-like adoration. Then he noticed the gentle flush of his skin whenever they met eyes. Dismissing it, Josh continued to explain (with the help of the kid) his relation to these people. It took them a while to grasp it all, and they flooded him with questions when he was through.

"So, y'all do magic and stuff?"

"Can you pull a rabbit out a hat?"

"Um, that's kind of a myth-"

"What about card tricks?"

Josh sighed. "Wrong kind of Magic, Nick."

Joey was facinated. "How about cutting people in half?" The twins smacked their foreheads with their palms.

"I've heard about people like you," Troy said finally, his eyes fixed on the twins. "You have a school you go to, right? Where you learn magic and stuff?"

George arched an eyebrow in suspicion. "Yeah..."

"I have a nephew that goes there," he said thoughtfully. "He's a Slithering, I think it's called?" The Weasleys fell silent.

"A Slytherin."

"That's it," said Troy. "I don't really know him, though. They're kind of...strange."

Ron looked at Harry. "Stranger than say, us?"

"Oh yeah," Troy said. "They're kind of, well..." He grinned. "They're black sheep, I think. We don't talk to them much." The family let out a restrained sigh of relief, and the twins relaxed visibly.

"As long as you're not related to Snape, we're fine."


It was a cool night, the summer moon hung low in the diamond studded sky as Josh took a drag on his cigarette. It was nerve-wracking to visit his cousins - it always had been. As a child, he'd always felt somewhat out of place among them, asthetic similarities aside. Something about being born in a rut of Squibs never made him feel too good. He imagined that was why he'd poured himself into his music. At least something about him was magical...

He heard the door open and shut behind him. The Potter kid sat down in the grass next to him, grinning shyly.

Josh blinked. "...hi."

"Hey," said the boy, running a hand through his messy hair. "I'm a big fan, really. I am. I've loved you since Kyuss."

"Really?" Josh laughed. "You're just a kid, how would you know about that?"

"I'm eightteen," Harry pouted a bit. "Anyway, it's legal to like rare music, isn't it?"

"More legal than a lot, I imagine." The words flew out of his mouth before Josh could stop them. "I mean, er..."

"I can't believe you're related to Ron," Harry gushed. "That's amazing."

Josh nodded. "This is actually my first time meeting Ron. I haven't seen Aunt Molly since the twins were babies."

"Wow," said Harry, his eyes glazing over. "You've missed a lot." Josh sensed there was more to that than the kid let on. He decided to let it slide, and changed the subject.

"So, you go to school with Ron?"

"Oh no, we've finished." Harry beamed. "Just last year, actually. Ron and I are here on holiday from training. This was such a surprise..."

"Yeah, it was kind of last minute." Josh agreed, stubbing out his cigarette in the grass. He fished another out of his pocket and patted his pants for a light. "Damnit."

"Here." Harry pulled out his wand and touched it to the tip of the cigarette, lighting it instantly.

Josh gawked. "Holy shit. What else can you do?"

Harry grinned, a wicked glint flicking distantly at the back of his eyes. "Oh. A little."

By the time they were through, Harry had conjured an ounce of cocaine, a pound of marijuana, six packs of cigarettes, and a case of Corona. Josh lay sprawled in the grass, a nearly empty bottle clutched in his hand.

"I love magic," he slurred happily.

"Yeah, it's fun," Harry admitted, his own speech a bit off. "I said the same thing, first time I went to Hogwarts."

"I wish I could do it," Josh pouted, grunting as he sat up. "I feel so cheated."

Harry shrugged. "There are some downsides to it."

Josh shook his head. "I don't wanna know. If you just keep the beer coming, I'm good okay fine."

Harry laughed. "Which one is it?"

"Fine," Josh replied. "I'm fine."

"Yes." Josh blinked and looked at the boy cautiously. He had a rugged, boyishly handsome look to him. The glasses were a bit nerdy, but there was something lurking behind those firey green eyes that made Josh's cock twitch. He grinned inwardly. Good thing there was no such thing as mind reading...

"You're right, it's called Occlumency," said Harry darkly. Josh sputtered into his beer.

"You... You heard that?" He stilled. "I didn't actually say it, did I?"

Harry shook his head. "No, you didn't. But I still heard it." Josh blushed. "And I don't mind."

Josh took the opportunity to drink in the boy's form. He was lean, almost skinny. But there was a breadth to his shoulders and a squareness to his jaw that implied a dominant lay. Josh always had difficulties refusing a dominant lay. He blinked the thoughts away and glanced back at the house.


"They've forgotten where we went," offered Harry, his eyes peering into Josh's. "Magic's convinient like that." Josh watched as the boy chewed on his bottom lip, his eyes transfixed on the teeth pressing firmly against soft, plump lips...

"You're eightteen?" Josh asked finally, meeting his eyes at last.

Harry grinned. "As of last week." Josh heaved his suddenly body and rolled ontop of Harry, his weight pinning to the cool grass beneath them.

"Good enough for me." And with that, he set his lips upon the boy's, and bit back a moan as Harry snaked his tongue into his mouth. He'd expected to have his way with him - instead he found himself struggling to remain on top, both physically and mentally. Harry gripped Josh's hair fiercely, holding his head steady as he caressed Josh's tongue with his own. Josh swooned and ground his hips against Harry's, taking a savage pleasure as the boy hissed when their cock's rubbed together.

"Fuck," Harry hissed, and promptly rolled Josh onto his back. He straddled the older man and set to work removing his jeans and boxers, bending to slurp Josh in his entirety into his mouth. Josh gasped and writhed happily, hardly believing the mouth on this kid.

"Jesusfuckyes," he moaned. Harry shot him a dark look, and in a flash and a wave of his wand, they were nude. Harry bent and lapped hungrily at Josh's length, moaning as he tasted a bit of Josh already. Slathering him up with saliva, Harry shifted above him, and slowly slid himself down Josh's cock. Somewhere in the distance, Josh heard a strangled gasp that may or may not have been his. Harry began a punishing rhythm, madly stroking himself in time to their coupling. This turned Josh on immensely, and somehow, he figured the kid already knew that.

"Of course I did," Harry groaned. "Wouldn't be much of a wizard, would I?" Josh snarled and flipped them over, topping Harry in an instant. The boy moaned and arched his back, snuggling his hips in Josh's lap. Snaring his waist in his hands, Josh pounded away at Harry, ignoring the sharp pain in his knees. Fuck, he was old. But there he was, fucking the life out of this young, nubile, great fucking fuck and-

"Ungh," he said, cumming hard. He felt his head spinning from the alcohol or lack of blood flow and collapsed on top of Harry. "Fuck."

"'kay," Harry quipped, and quickly slipped out from underneath him. Moving swiftly, he ducked behind Josh and slid inside his ass, not bothering to apply any sort of lube whatsoever.

"FUCK," said Josh.

"'kay," said Harry, and proceeded to do so. His pace was maddening, and he was much longer than Josh would have guessed by looking at the kid. His girth struck all the proper parts, and he thought he would pass out before the kid was through. As if on cue, Harry came with a shout and dug his fingers into Josh's skin, angry red marks appearing on his pale flesh. It was his turn to collapse, and Josh didn't bother to push him off.

"Christ," he mumbled.

"Yeah," said Harry. "Wow." With a grunt, Josh rolled on to his back and laid a palm against his forehead.

"I gotta visit more often."

"Hey, man," Joey said as they drove back to the hotel. "You're family's all right." Josh grinned, exhausted from the good-byes and the...encounter earler that night. Nick and Troy were passed out in the back seat, and Josh fingered the mirror in his pocket. The kid had given it to him, said he could talk to him whenever he wanted to. Josh had accepted and left with a grin.

"Yeah," Josh yawned. "They're pretty magical."

Merry Christmakwanzyulechanukkah, y'all. :)
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