Cinnéidigh (thatmikeychick) wrote in plaid_on_plaid,
Cinnéidigh
thatmikeychick
plaid_on_plaid

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This is all capitalfalsh's fault. Nobody blame me - blame her for that delicious fucking thing she just posted... guh. Yes. Her fault. :p

If there was one thing Nick prided himself on, it was his ability to fuck with other people's heads. He owned, as far as he was concerned. He had his named stamped on Josh's mind since high school, that much he was sure of. He liked to think Lanegan thought of him from time to time, but he couldn't seem to brand Troy. That was all in a matter of time, though. No one could resist him for long. He could not be beaten. He. Was. The. Shit.


Lanegan sat as still as death, watching through a veil of his smoke as Josh and Nick strummed away on their guitars. Nick had been throwing suggestive glances at him all day. This was not new, but there was a certain smugness to them that Lanegan was not used to. Something had to be done about this behavior, and Lanegan decided to call in the reserves.

He beckoned to Troy with a crook of his finger. Frowning in confusion, Troy crossed the studio and stood before him. Lanegan bit back a grin. He loved watching Troy's subtle switch. Remembering the task at hand, he patted the cushion next to him. Troy sat, now completely confused.

"Why do I feel like I just got called into the principle's office," he smirked.

"Because you're about to get schooled," said Lanegan. Troy looked alarmed.

"What?"

"Relax," growled Lanegan as he stubbed out his cigarette in a nearby ashtray. "Wanna help me fuck with Nick's head?" Troy paused and shot a glance at Nick. When he returned his eyes to Lanegan, he was grinning wickedly.

"Do tell."



"Awesome," declared Nick for the Rancho to hear as they finished recording. "I am officially awesome."

Josh laughed as he packed away his guitar. "Hey, let me bum a smoke..."

Nick patted his pockets. "Shit, they're in my jacket-"

"I've got one," Troy said, a naughty grin on his face as he sauntered over to them. Offering the vice between his slender fingers, Josh smiled.

"You're my savior, man." Troy shrugged.

"I try." A certain familiar dark look settled over the crooner's face as Troy lit the cigarette between his lips. "Das goot?" Troy slunk next to him and set down the pack on a nearby table, his ass grazing Josh's hip.

"Ja," Josh said, his voice quivering a bit. "Das real goot."

Nick looked positively furious. What. In the fuck. Was going on here.

"Um!" He anounced, his eyes alight with fury. Troy held Josh's stare for a bit before he turned to look at Nick.

"Huhwha?"

Nick snarled. "Nothing." And with that, he stormed off, nearly trodding on Lanegan as he stood to leave.

"Watch yourself, buddy," smirked Lanegan. Nick said nothing and stalked off, oblivious to the smug grin on Lanegan's face.

Josh was confused. "What just happened?" Troy grinned and glanced at Lanegan.

"C'mere, kid," said Lanegan, not at all surprised at the whimper that excaped Josh's lips. "I got a job for you."



Nick practically broke down the door to the bathroom. He stood over the toilet to pee and had a moment of clarity. What the fuck, Rex. Chill out. Nothing to fear from the walking peppermint stick. Not even Josh would succumb to Troy's feminine advances, pert ass and all. Nick stilled.

...it was a rather perky thing, wasn't it? Nick frowned and shook his cock, once for cleanliness, twice for Godliness, and a third time for shits and giggles. Fuck this, he still owned. He spat in the toilet and flushed, and resisted the urge to check out his own ass in the mirror.

Just then, Josh entered without bothering to knock.

"What the hell, dude," said Nick. "It's called knocking."

"My fault," smirked Josh as he opened the cabinet. "Just needed some- ah, here we go." He pulled out a tube of cherry lip balm and shut the mirror. Paying close attention, he applied the tube to his lips, slowly dragging out the process. Nick was mesmorized. Hundreds of raunchy memories flooded his mind of other places that mouth had been. His cocked twitched when Josh pressed his lips together, and it was everything he could do to keep his hand from flying to his crotch when Josh winked at his reflection. He left without a word and left Nick by himself in the suddenly way-too-small bathroom.

Josh allowed himself a wicked grin as he closed the door behind him. Lanegan and Troy stood waiting.

"Well?"

"He's a mess," he chuckled. "Who's next?"

"Next for what?" As if on cue, Joey rounded the corner and gazed curiously at the three of them. Josh draped an arm over Joey's shoulders and pulled him close.

"Wanna prove how metal you are?" Troy let out a choked laugh and quieted at Lanegan's stern frown.

Joey was confused. "Um..."

"Just say yes," said Lanegan. "It'll be worth it."


Nick wandered into the kitchen. Food. That's what he needed. He hadn't eaten in a while, so it made sense that he'd been halucinating all morning. Troy's ass and Josh's mouth indeed. He started at a noise behind him, and whirled around to find the new guy with a mug in his hand.

Nick sneered. This bitch, what with his tattoos and muscles, and-

"Morning," smiled Joey. Nick offered a half-assed grin in return. Not wanting to be engaged in conversation, he opened the fridge and bent to attack the lunchmeat bin. Nothing solved hunger-induced halucinations like turkey and cheese on potato bread. It was then that he felt someone's Duraflame-sized cock between the cheeks of his ass. Nick froze. He felt it slide slowly, deliberately over his ass, then move quickly away. Darting upright like a gazelle on the Savannah, Nick leered at his assailant.

The new guy opened a tea bag and draped it in his mug. He felt Nick's stare and looked up.

"...you all right, man?" Joey asked, his innocent tone not quite meeting his eyes. "You look a little felt up..."

Nick gawked as Joey poured water in the mug. "What?!"

"I said, 'You look a little shook up'," Joey said, frowning as he put his tea in the microwave. "Wow, you okay?" Nick shook his head and tried not to stare at Joey's crotch.

"Yes!" Nick shouted over the throbbing pulse in his ears. "Fine! Good! Yes! Tired!" Joey moved closed and laid a hand on Nick's shoulder. Part of him wanted the beefy drummer to force him to his knees and shove that massive thing in his mouth. Another part of him wanted to know exactly where the hell all this was coming from. Nick nearly knelt when Joey spoke.

"Maybe you should get some rest," said Joey as he moved back to his tea. "You look like someone just worked you over." Nick smothered a growl deep in his throat and did flee that time. Right into someone's chest. Looking up, Nick locked eyes with Lanegan.

"Hey, buddy," he purred. "What's up?" With a strangled shriek, Nick covered his ears and tore away from the kitchen, oblivious to the audience in the hallway. Josh clung to the doorway as he laughed, and Troy's prim and proper exterior had vanished as he writhed on the floor in laughter, holding his sides. Joey, however, looked apprehensive.

"Was that what you meant?" he asked, writing his hands nervously.

Lanegan laughed before replying, "not exactly."

"What did you mean then," Joey pleaded.

"He meant tease him," wheezed Josh hysterically. "Not dick-matize him!"

Joey's expression went somber, then an evin grin slid across his face. "Isn't that the same thing?"

Troy stilled and shot Josh a glance, who groaned deep in his chest. Lanegan looked as if he'd died and gone to heaven. Joey winked and retrieved his tea from the microwave.

"See ya, fuckers."
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  • 10 comments
"Why do I feel like I just got called into the principle's office," he smirked.

"Because you're about to get schooled,"


omg, omg, omg. You. Rock. My. World.

Please write more, this is amazing.
GUSH! :D

I think I'm tapped - my muses are giving me the stink-eye as we speak, er, type. Yes. :p
i love the characterisations. and nick is perfect. :D
Oh wow, thank you. It felt so rushed... Primarily cuz my head still reeling from your debauchery. Guh.
poor nicky! but that was killer.
Icon love!
there is a big big big huge grin that i can't wipe off my face iaushiosduhasd!!!!!!
Awesome. My work here is done, and shit. :DDD
oh. my. gawd. please write more!!!
That was the funniest fic I've read in a while. You rocked my world.